Although this has been said over and over again, I say it yet again to lay emphasis on its simple truthfulness- “Complimenting is a subtle art.” To add to it, I’d say that like every other art, complimenting has its masters, novices and those who absolutely suck at it. Believe it or not, a badly paid compliment can easily be taken offence at. A compliment needs to be subtle yet not so underhanded that the receiving party doesn’t even realize it.
Only the other day, I ran into an old acquaintance from school. After the basic niceties, in a shocked tone, pausing after every word, she said, “Why do you look so *longest pause* weak?!” Me being the snide bitch I am, I said “Why don’t you just pay me a compliment and tell me I’ve lost weight.” She just grinned at me. She went on to tell me how my skin had cleared up in a matter-of-fact way as if to remind of those days in school when acne terrorized me. I smiled politely and got on with doing whatever it was that I was doing.
What I was trying to bring to light by mentioning this incident was how there really is such a thing as a badly paid compliment. Even though it’s unlikely, but maybe, just maybe, that acquaintance was really sincere at heart and meant to pay a genuine compliment but the way it came across as, it seemed like a snide poke at my earlier fatso, acne-faced self.
Many a times, people don’t pay compliments at all which is such a major bummer. If I make the effort and look good, tell me. When I cook something and it tastes delicious, I need to be told so. I have never understood why people refrain from complimenting. Maybe it doesn’t come to them like an instinct like it does to so many of us. Managers in corporate companies use complimenting as a device of sorts, for positive motivation of their employees and it’s been known to work more effectively than monetary incentives in a majority of the cases.
Many a times, a lot of us pay the wrong compliments. Is there such a thing as a wrong compliment, you wonder? Yes, there is. What’s worse than paying no compliment is paying a bad or wrong compliment. For instance, I don’t believe that, “That dress is gorgeous!” is a compliment. I’d rather be told that I look good in that dress. If I don’t, don’t mention it all! To make it clearer, you don’t say, “That was some brilliant choreography” to someone you just saw perform, no. You tell them, “You danced wonderfully” instead. It is very important to choose what to compliment. There are no hard and fast rules to it but it is something you just acquire, over time.
Now go around, drop random compliments like birds drop poop, for they don’t cost no thing, nananana.
Signing out x